Days of freedom struggle
Thou shalt never forget
Lest history repeats
We cannot take things for granted for our freedom wasn't achieved easily.
In order to achieve freedom from all the social evils, we have to do our part.
P.S.: My first attempt at Haiku. Will be very happy if my fellow bloggers correct, criticize or comment on my attempt.
Written for
It is a good attempt Vee...:)
ReplyDeleteVery well said...keep on writing and soon you will perfect it! Just look at the sidebar in Haiku Heights, there are some helpful tips there on how to write a Haiku!
Have a nice day.. :)
Love,
Amity
Vee, thats a great first attempt at Haiku. :)
ReplyDeleteEven the topic chosen is good. Very few people nowadays remember this.
PS: A typical Haiku is 5-7-5 syllables or the total syllable count in the three lines together is 17 maximum; and minimum 10. You have one extra syllable up there...
But ofcourse, great first try. And do check out, like Amity says, the Haiku Heights sidebar for tips. :)
seems interesting! have no clue though about Haiku. so really can't say anything dear!
ReplyDeleteAmity - Thanks a lot.
ReplyDeleteRumya - To make sure I have correct number of syllables (5-7-5), I used a syllable counting software and chose my words. I'm a little bad at identifying them. :P
Restless - It's a 3 lined poem with 5 syllables in first line, 7 in second and 5 in third.
I hope you used Haiku with Teeth coz that is the only and most reliable syllable counter for Haiku's at present. And don't worry, after a Haiku or two you'll be able to count on fingers. LOL!! :D
ReplyDeletethanks a lot Rumya. That sure should help!
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing haiku especially on your first attempt! I'm sure you'll have down the haiku format soon. You have truly written from a place of meaning and you convey the power and price of freedom beautifully. P.S., I like the sketch of you. That is very nice.
ReplyDeleteHey! Vee ur blog takes long time to load, pl check it. somebody suggeted a site on indiforum, about this. yeday, cudnot open it, it was so slow.
ReplyDeleteHey this Haiku is very difficult, i cannot contain my thoughts in few words!
btw all the best for the contest!!
RESTLESS
freedom struggle could be life time long,
ReplyDeletebrilliant entry.
Hey Vee
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog. Lolzz no I didn't read your post so I don't suppose the disclaimer was for you :)True I like you post that we people have to do something in order to keep it going. You might want to read something I wrote,
http://www.gingerchai.com/2010/08/19/chotu-one-common-story-of-a-common-boy-in-india/
Need your feedback, do visit :)
Thanks for stalking me, I'm doing the same ;)
great haiku, wise advice - well done!
ReplyDeleteWrite Girl - Those words are really encouraging. Thanks a lot.
ReplyDeleteRestless - Thank you for letting me know about the load time of my website. I think use of lots of images in my posts is to blame.
Jingle - Thanks for dropping by.
UB - Read your post at Ginerchai. Excellent one. For more, read my comments over there.
Turtlememoir - Thanks a lot.